i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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