I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
This house was built for laser tag.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
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