I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
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