I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Randomize
