just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
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