Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
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