8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
Randomize
