what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
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