i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
Randomize