I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
