Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
My cat gives me a boner
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
Randomize
