Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
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