Cold hands, warm shart.
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
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