ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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