You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
Randomize
