hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize