are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
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