6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
You can't just leave with hair like that
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
I think my moral compass just broke
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize