i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
40s are totally the cure
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
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