Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
Randomize
