you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
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