You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
you never un-have a 4some
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
Randomize
