$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
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