We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
