I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
Randomize
