Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
Randomize
