My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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