You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
Randomize
