apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
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