Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
he was CRYING into my vagina
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
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