Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
