"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
Randomize
