This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
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