omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
Randomize
