Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
She is in my trunk
So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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