I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
Just cropdusted the office
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
Randomize
