Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
Randomize
