Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
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