nut hugger
Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
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