I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
