Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Randomize
