I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
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