Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
