I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
Randomize
