That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
