I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
Randomize
