Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
I can't trust your balls anymore.
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
Randomize
