Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
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