my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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