Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
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