i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
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