As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
i just stumbled downstairs, still drunk, to hug my dad and wish him a happy fathers day
but fathers day is next sunday
i realized that after i threw up on his bare feet
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
Randomize
