You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
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