end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
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