just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
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