Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
Randomize