dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
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