Sponge bath it is.
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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