If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
