I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Randomize
