I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
splinters make it hard to masturbate
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Randomize