girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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